Just one of them Beyonce days…

I was listening to a girlfriend recently, as we all do, who had just ended a relationship, she was sitting so dejected with All Saints ‘Never Ever’ on repeat, and the only thing I could think of to pull her out of this was, “You need some Beyonce”..

“What?” she said, “Broken hearten girl? yeah good idea” and reached for the iPod.

“No, no you need some good Beyonce power! You need some Beyonce in your ears and some r. e. s. p. e. c. t. back in your mind, honey”, Okay I didn’t say honey and don’t ask why I had gone all Queen Lattitha on her, I don’t know, ( luckily we’re still friends.) but I think there comes a time in every woman’s dating life where they need to crank up the mighty B and sing at the top of her voice..

Relationships and Dating can be tough, it’s hard to work out the Goodfellas to the toxic ones sometimes but as my good friend Don says, “you have to chop down the trees to get the wood”, and I always think you never know how things will work out until they’re worked out. (watch out for my post on Puzzles. coming soon). But the chopping of the trees isn’t  really the worst part, it’s the aftermath. The time it takes to get back on track, when you sit deflated and your confidence is at zero because you let someone take your ‘you-ness’ away.  All my girlfriends have gone through it and it’s so hard to watch.

I liken the early days of a relationship to building one of those towers with playing cards*, you know the ones I mean? You lean two together, then another two, then lay one on top and keep building to see how high you can get, it’s exciting and nerve wracking at the same time and you get this silly pride in yourself that, ‘look at me!! look what I did!! and then it falls down and you don’t want anyone to look, but you always start again.

I love this from Stumble Upon. For me it’s not only about playing card towers* it’s about apples* too. You sometimes have to wait it out and keep in mind who you are. But be careful what you fill your ears with, be careful what subliminal messages you are giving yourself with the music you favour around this time. I suggest Beyonce for the sheer fact the songs are powerful and strong and this is just what you need right now!!!

“Listen, to the song here in my heart…..Question, tell me how you feel about this, try to control me but you get dismissed…. so if I’m not your everything, how about i’ll be nothing, nothing at all to you….you’re just a boy and you don’t understand, and you’ll lose the one you wanted because you’ve taken her for granted…..and now that you’re outta my life I’m so much better, you thought that I’d be weak without you, but I’m stronger……you must not know about me, you must not know about me, I can have another you in a minute, matter of fact…..if you liked it you should have put a ring on it, don’t be mad coz you see that he want it….” Dance moves optional but hand movements and hair flicking fo sho!  and while I really shouldn’t admit it in public, a mirror works wonders!

And I know they say never believe anyone who says trust me, but trust me..when you get all bootylicious about yourself and sing these songs proud and loud, well as loud as your neighbors will let you, you’ll feel soooo much better. They’re songs for women about getting their power back and not letting guys treat them bad.  We all lose it, we all get side-tracked, despondent and down from time to time, but the good news is we can all get it back.  I don’t know if there’s even an exact word for it, (is it empowerment? ) but Beyonce has it, so I call it Beyonce-ness.

So when you feel down, turn off the sad songs, polish your halo, crank up the B, practice your hand clicking,  get all fine about yourself again, because he lost YOU and you’re AMAZING actually, you really are 😉

(*if any guys read this and think it actually IS about playing cards and apples, please wait outside, I’m coming  to give you a dead arm :))

Football. Is. Here.

As World Cup fever grips the nation, St George’s are displayed everywhere they can be and the country becomes a sea of red and white in support of the boys. Unless you move a few hundred miles (maybe not exactly 500) but certainly a lot, north of the border to a beautiful country called Scotland where I live. Which is definitely not red and white.

Now I don’t pretend to understand football, I know enough to get by, I know that some guys look pretty cute in their kits,  (Lee Sharpe in particular if you’re asking) I watch the odd SoccerAm because it’s funny and love to amaze my guy friends with my acute understanding of the offside rule ( I have 5 brothers and when there were not enough sweatshirts for goalposts, little sisters came in handy 🙁 ).  While I admire it, I don’t get the passion guys have for it, the desire to stand in the freezing cold eating a pie, shouting obscenities at the men on the pitch and crying into a pint when their team gets relegated (actually I DO get the pie thing- nice!). Now, you’ll be happy to know I GET the World Cup, in the same context I get the Eurovision song contest and the Olmpics, it’s a time we get to cheer our country on at something, but I don’t get the rivalry thing between Scotland and England. Why not support your neighbour? Well, it seems there is a reason.

It’s not that I hate the English..

…..it’s a neighbour thing, just as Celtic will never support Rangers, Spurs will never support Arsenal and Man UTD will never support Man City. Location is key, apparently, but there is more.

Every guy I’ve ever spoken to about football, says the same thing and if every guy I’ve ever spoken to says the same thing there MUST be something in it. Apparently, it’s the English Media, the commentators in particular, who seem to over hype the occasion to the point of nausea,  chuck in the fact every 5 minutes that England won the cup in ’66 and have memory loss that their first match as Champions in ’67 was against Scotland who defeated them 3-2,  (What? I’m just saying!) and apparently it bugs Scotland, a bit.

So as this World Cup begins, as an English/Scottish person living in Scotland I feel a bit cheated.

During the last World Cup I went to London and was overwhelmed to see St Georges flying literally EVERYWHERE. Up until I crossed the border I hardly knew a World Cup was happening. Back home, in Scotland,  I had only seen a few Portugal ones.  So as I stepped into the sea of red and white I couldn’t help but feel a bit sorry for myself.  Here was all this pride in the nation, an excuse to party and I had missed out!

Most women will probably think I’m crazy as they want to escape football, but it’s a game of two half’s and I’d like to participate a little. Football is not played on paper, it’s live. it’s fresh and for the full 90 minutes, when you really get involved, football can be nail biting stuff when you’re cheering your team on. During the ’06 Penalties shoot-outs I was jumping on the sofa without that little voice in my head saying  “would you do that at HOME?” and I’m looking forward to doing that again!

So, I’ll be cheering England on, even if I have to do so quietly.

I’d like to say I have a feeling about the game troday, which I’m watching incidentally with a friend who seconds after inviting me laughed “I’ll be wearing an America top”, but I don’t, as much as Scotland never usually get through, neither do England. They only ever seem to get to the Semi-finals and that’s it, (just my observation. ) So, while we’re still in it, I won’t go as far as wearing an England top and attaching a flag to my car, I’ll wear something red, cheer on England and hope the Media do not say anything to insult my Scottish friends. Because at the end of the day, it’s all about the fans.

Sex and The City 2

I went to see this expecting it to be dire and was happily disappointed, I thought it was fab! Prior to going, I’d only heard one positive thing about it and that was from someone who said she wasn’t a fan of the series. It seems most fans I spoke to were not keen. But I do wonder what they expected?

The opening scenes at the wedding were brilliant and who ever managed to pull Liza Minnelli out of the bag for this deserves a medal! I feel I have truly lived after watching her singing and dancing to  ‘All the Single Ladies’ in thigh boots!  ‘….all the single ladies, all the single ladies, all the single ladies, all the single ladies, if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it, don’t be mad coz you see that he want it……” whoops! sorry got a bit carried away there, in my defence it’s a very catchy tune and an anthem for Single Ladies everywhere, one guaranteed to get you up dancing and singing at a wedding* just as in the film.

As I watched these scenes I knew I was going to LOVE the film. I knew already I would watch it again on a rainy afternoon, and that is really what SATC, the series, is about. The fashion’s are stunning, the gags do not dissappoint, the scenes (and the girls) are beautifully filmed and the story line is perfect for fans. It’s a tough job to make a series into a film and win acclaim, I always see them as an extension of the series and think if you’d watch the film again then they’ve been successful.  As long as the characters stay true to their TV characters and don’t go crazy with the Hollywood sparkle behind them, it’s a winner.

So when the ultimate single ladies get married, at the end of the day, surely all we want to know is what happens next?

The original ingredients for Sex and The City were single ladies and dating. Now we find our characters older and settled down, it’s not the same but I can’t help but think if they were all STILL single and dating, just how depressing it would be. It’s comforting to know, we’ve all grown up.

When SATC was first broadcast back in the 90’s it was heralded as a breath of fresh air, a chance for women to be like men about Sex and the taboos surrounding it, it was going to be steamy and groundbreaking and it really was. But it has proved to be about more than Sex. It’s about the friendship between the four girls, how their lives change and how they advise and support each other. I consider myself  lucky enough to have friends like these in real life. Friends who’ve supported me through my own personal story lines and who I love madly and support through theirs.  Friends who may despair of me at times but who definitely love me and we lunch and go shopping and day dream about the days when we’ll have purses big enough for SATC Fashions! (swoon)

Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha gave us hope through our 20’s when dating was tough, my friends and I could all identify with the girls and their trials and tribulations, we too drank cocktails, spent our wages on coveted designer shoes, danced at cool bars, never let go of our own ‘Big’s’, felt guilty over our own ‘Aidan’s’, tried to pretend our ‘Trey’s’ were perfect when we knew otherwise, and through it all, through our blossoming careers and our searches for the perfect guys, we had each other to rely on, just like the SATC girls.

So the Sex and The City girls became our modern day heroines  We can all identify with parts of Miss’s Bradshaw, Hobbs, York and Jones and now we’re in our 30’s, we’ve moved on, just like the girls have.  Between us we are wives and mothers just like them and these bring their own challenges. Maybe not as challenging as ‘do you call the guy first or wait for him to call you?’  (answers on a postcard please, this is still unanswered!), but still challenging in their own way. Our chat isn’t about the same things anymore, we simply don’t always have the time to discuss the way he said it. Between us we know how interesting being a wife can be and how challenging being a mother can be, which is where we find our girls in SATC2 and probably why I loved it.

So now we know what happens next in the lives of Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda and Samanatha, we’re satisfied. But does it have to stop there? Can we know more? I’d definitely like to know more. But not about them. I’d like to know what happened next to Monica, Chandler, Ross, Rachel, Joey and Phoebe, Friends Movie anyone?

* Do not worry, I promise not do this at the upcoming weddings 🙂

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