I was listening to a girlfriend recently, as we all do, who had just ended a relationship, she was sitting so dejected with All Saints ‘Never Ever’ on repeat, and the only thing I could think of to pull her out of this was, “You need some Beyonce”..
“What?” she said, “Broken hearten girl? yeah good idea” and reached for the iPod.
“No, no you need some good Beyonce power! You need some Beyonce in your ears and some r. e. s. p. e. c. t. back in your mind, honey”, Okay I didn’t say honey and don’t ask why I had gone all Queen Lattitha on her, I don’t know, ( luckily we’re still friends.) but I think there comes a time in every woman’s dating life where they need to crank up the mighty B and sing at the top of her voice..
Relationships and Dating can be tough, it’s hard to work out the Goodfellas to the toxic ones sometimes but as my good friend Don says, “you have to chop down the trees to get the wood”, and I always think you never know how things will work out until they’re worked out. (watch out for my post on Puzzles. coming soon). But the chopping of the trees isn’t really the worst part, it’s the aftermath. The time it takes to get back on track, when you sit deflated and your confidence is at zero because you let someone take your ‘you-ness’ away. All my girlfriends have gone through it and it’s so hard to watch.
I liken the early days of a relationship to building one of those towers with playing cards*, you know the ones I mean? You lean two together, then another two, then lay one on top and keep building to see how high you can get, it’s exciting and nerve wracking at the same time and you get this silly pride in yourself that, ‘look at me!! look what I did!! and then it falls down and you don’t want anyone to look, but you always start again.
I love this from Stumble Upon. For me it’s not only about playing card towers* it’s about apples* too. You sometimes have to wait it out and keep in mind who you are. But be careful what you fill your ears with, be careful what subliminal messages you are giving yourself with the music you favour around this time. I suggest Beyonce for the sheer fact the songs are powerful and strong and this is just what you need right now!!!
“Listen, to the song here in my heart…..Question, tell me how you feel about this, try to control me but you get dismissed…. so if I’m not your everything, how about i’ll be nothing, nothing at all to you….you’re just a boy and you don’t understand, and you’ll lose the one you wanted because you’ve taken her for granted…..and now that you’re outta my life I’m so much better, you thought that I’d be weak without you, but I’m stronger……you must not know about me, you must not know about me, I can have another you in a minute, matter of fact…..if you liked it you should have put a ring on it, don’t be mad coz you see that he want it….” Dance moves optional but hand movements and hair flicking fo sho! and while I really shouldn’t admit it in public, a mirror works wonders!
And I know they say never believe anyone who says trust me, but trust me..when you get all bootylicious about yourself and sing these songs proud and loud, well as loud as your neighbors will let you, you’ll feel soooo much better. They’re songs for women about getting their power back and not letting guys treat them bad. We all lose it, we all get side-tracked, despondent and down from time to time, but the good news is we can all get it back. I don’t know if there’s even an exact word for it, (is it empowerment? ) but Beyonce has it, so I call it Beyonce-ness.
So when you feel down, turn off the sad songs, polish your halo, crank up the B, practice your hand clicking, get all fine about yourself again, because he lost YOU and you’re AMAZING actually, you really are 😉
(*if any guys read this and think it actually IS about playing cards and apples, please wait outside, I’m coming to give you a dead arm :))