Rocket Fuel for the Soul

elton john

This must be the weirdest post you’ll have read from me in a while because it’s actually a real life diary entry post and not a post about beauty, make up or fashion over on the Swag Guide, it’s from actual me.

A few people have asked why I don’t have this blog public anymore and tbh I found it a little personal when I didn’t want to be scrutinised so I took it off. We live our lives under a microscope sometimes and I’ve always thought it’s nice for people to just meet me and not be swayed by the online stuff. In a bizarre twist this is also the reason I  have put this blog back public as my posts are pretty much transparent, i’m the same now as i’ve always been. People who judge, judge away, it’s all good. I’m happy with the happy, deep and klutzy little person that I am. This blog might be changing into a diary of how I write a screenplay, I’ve been chatting about this with my friend and he thinks it’s what I should be doing with it. All will be revealed in time as it always is.

So this is a back to grass roots post from me as a regular blogger about the last year and Ermagherd! What a year it has been. What have I been up to? Okay, here goes…

My year started road tripping between LA, New York and Las Vegas. The Best.

In March I launched a personal project that i’d been working on for years and started a journey that has been a great learning curve in hard work, determination, sleep deprivation, loyalties, laziness, grammar, spending money, road miles, thinking on my feet, responsibility and self belief. I’m really proud of it and have watched it evolve into something real and relevant over the last few months. There’s a big change coming with it soon, so watch that space.

Alongside this I completed my HND in Television and am now a 3rd year student at Edinburgh’s Napier University. I was tempted not to go to Uni but felt the creative environment might be nourishing and it really is. I am still learning so much every day. I am also finally on a scriptwriting course too, so happy happy days. University is really something that keeps me busy and nurtures my love of creative writing.

We lost a special person this year and I cannot lie that it has been really fucking tough and brings a lump to my throat every time I think of the gap she has left behind for everyone. I’m so proud of the brave women around me who are rebuilding their lives without the brightest of stars. It’s been a huge shock and it’s definitely had repercussions in my day to day and my future plans. As you know I lost my Dad a few years ago but nothing prepared me for this and the effect it’s had on my life, my thoughts and my priorities.

Appreciate everyone you know because life is a cruel bastard sometimes and you never know how much time you have. Those people you never expect to not be there suddenly can just not be. Life doesn’t play fair.

This summer I produced, wrote and directed my first show in the Edinburgh festival, The Hungover Sofa. So many great people came on the show and it birthed some new presenting stars too. It’s on You Tube, go see. Also filmed some little comedy skits, with more to come so watch that space.

I’m also vlogging now and you can find me and other bloggers on The Swag Guide You tube channel. I’m finding vlogging so much fun and I’m so chuffed with the people who are interested in my little life here on the blue planet. We’re all pretty much just idiots figuring things out with other idiots who believe in us. We up sell, change our minds, re write our histories and stumble into our futures.

I spent time with an amazing little complicated person who helped me take a step back in time and forward again and made me laugh over the silliest of things, even shallots. Loved that.

I’m also Beauty and Fashion writer at LetsJoin which you’ll find on Edinburgh’s transport network. It is hard work and also so much fun, I absolutely love my Editors and co workers. I love writing posts, I love helping other bloggers share their voices too. I’m still on Twitter and Instagram, where I take way more selfies in lifts than anyone ever should. @IamstillKarlie over there too, or a variation of myself at that moment.

So, I’ve done a fair amount, there’s things I can’t even put in here because they sound ridic and I sound like a big head, they’re probably online somewhere if you care to go searching. It’s been fun and I have pinched myself many times this year, maybe most buying a sausage and bean pasty from Greggs more than anywhere. Ha!

Then there’s my two teenagers, who are just the best thing ever. I’ve still managed to maintain a good degree of privacy for them online which I’m super proud of. I think they teach me more about life than I do them and despite them being so close to the end of this post, they are first, they are just everything.

So as always, my eyes are wide open, my ear is to the ground to learn, my thirst for knowledge is still exploding, my belief in love is strong, I’m looking forward and around me and I have passion in my veins I’m never going to apologise for. Someone asked me recently why I always say life is short, ‘It’s like you have an obsession with time or something’ he laughed. I thought about it, he was right, I do, I don’t want to ever miss the best moments, I want to do everything I can and help others do all they can and I want to squeeze the most out of life. Then someone else asked me why I work so hard, and I genuinely don’t know, I’m not too concerned with money, stuff or success, it’s always the experiences that hold the value for me. I like being busy and again that obsession with not wasting time.

But please do not ask me how I do all these things, I have no idea. I sleep, get up and work until I fall back into bed and repeat it all over again. I strive to find happiness in every day and consider myself one hell of a lucky son of a bitch, I’m overwhelmed looking back at this year don’t get me wrong but I don’t really think about it at the time, I just do it. Some people have said they cannot keep up with me and they don’t know how I do it, but I have never ever asked anyone to, just bring me coffee, love me madly and make me laugh, it’s my rocket fuel.

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