There’s always a pressure on you if you’re single to date, mostly self imposed I guess but none the less pressure. I’ve learnt that it’s totally okay to be on my own and have learned how to handle guys who find out I’m single and seem to go on a mission to change it. It’s cool guys, be cool. Despite contrary opinion a woman can be happily on her own.
Any regular readers of my blog will know I have my theories of the different stages of dating we get to at junctions in life. My latest theory hit me while I was reading through some quotes. I do love a good quote (or five hundred) and will happily process some when i’m in down time. Luckily for me the internet is full of quotes, so there’s no shortage for me to get my fixes. Check my Pinterest Board, if you don’t believe me. You’re welcome.
While I haven’t had every relationship under the sun, I’ve always considered myself lucky that I married young and have the understanding of that kind of relationship. For a certain type of person it’s constant work, and you have to be prepared to stick that out through everything. A lot of yourself can generally get lost in a relationship, especially in the early stages where you don’t know if you are going to have a relationship, I know I have to keep my head above water sometimes as it’s all a bit of a drain. It’s around this time you find yourself wondering, Are you a priority or are you an option?
There’s a well known quote centred around options and priorities, something like don’t make someone a priority if they treat you like an option, or you should be someone’s priority not their option. It’s kinda cool and can straighten your head out if you find yourself in that kind of situation. As they say, you can be the ripest peach on the bowl but not everyone likes peaches.
Before we get lost under a bunch of quotes and start singing Taylor Swift with our mouths full of ice-cream, we should take stock that; life is life is life. What matters now, won’t matter in a few weeks, months, years. I think we can take this quote a bit further, so indulge me a little. I think we have stages in life where dating itself is either a priority or an option, and we treat the candidates around this time accordingly.
There’s things you do with a priority you wouldn’t do with an option and vice versa. You don’t need to spell it out for you, but you take them much more seriously than the option bunch, who are just there as, well, an option. You’ll most likely find you’re one of many options and that means you too should start putting your fingers in a few more pies. (Just pies girls and boys, let’s keep it clean) Read my blog on Four Hob Dating, maybe it’s for you.
First and foremost you have to remember, It’s not personal. Nothing in dating, unless you’re dating an asshole, is personal. (and even then, they’re probably so far up their own backsides, the only priorities are themselves!) So, rather than being a negative thing, having the realisation that you are someone’s option can be rather freeing. It’s really not you after all, it’s them. It’s where they are in life, on their journey, at this time.
As I said before up there, it’s a little bit about peaches too. If you’re finding things are not so peachy, why spend your time with someone who doesn’t think you are awesome? Pivot! PIVOT!
We all are on our own journey in life and sometimes paths will cross, eyes will meet, hands will touch and lips will lock. Maybe there’s no permanence in that, and as I said up there, maybe you’re only dating because you think you should be dating. But newsflash, there’s no unwritten law that you should be coupled and being single is no bad thing. Until you’re truly ready to prioritise, you should be glad of your options.
Luckily for you, later on in this blog, you’ll find me exploring different ways to date. We have a fab web series planned for y’all. Watch me cooking, cocktail making, dressing and taking advice from the best in the business. I’m already cringing for myself and my date, so I hope to see you there! Until then….