I first encountered J R R Toilken via The Hobbit at school something like this…
“Goddamn why’d they have to make us read such an old big goddamn book and why does it have to have no pictures and just bloody hell, it looks BORING and what the heck is a Hobbit and no I don’t want to read it, I want to go out on my bike and I want to eat sweets…”
Yes I was that foul mouthed as a kid. I knew no different. Just like I knew no different with The Hobbit. While I read it and liked it in that first year of secondary school and I liked the Hobbit’s little journey, there are some creatures that, still to this day, scare me, just as in life. They are just too prickly for me to comprehend. I don’t like horror, I don’t like gore, I don’t like being scared by characters, I don’t like what I don’t like.
So I wasn’t a massive fan of Tolkien, I didn’t run off and read the trilogy and turn up at geek events later in life quoting huge chunks of it impressing anyone who was equally as geeky. I liked fantasy worlds as much as the next kid but I much preferred C S Lewis and his wonderful world behind that wardrobe in Narnia. It was much softer. Heck there was SNOW and a Lion that let you ride on it’s back. Totally on board with that.
Nowadays Tolkien is everywhere, Tolkien is cool and unlike Narnia, his world is much more adult and the films are epics I have loved watching when I have a spare 14 days to sit and do nothing. His words are pulled out in sections and quoted like there’s no tomorrow especially ‘Not all those who wander are lost’ and, as a lover of quotes, (shaddap), I like this one and it rings true to me right now. Not everything is as it seems.
Lost is somewhere most people are scared to go, if you’re not defined by something or someone who are you? But lost if you are creatively minded is a thriving place to be. You’re unblocked, undetermined, undirected, you’re not listening to anyone, not paying attention to anything. your brain or mine at least, does some of it’s best work.
I’m not lost but I am going through a wee wander creatively, reassessing where I am at and i’m okay with that. If i’m lost to you then remember that it’s a kind of lost I am happy to find myself in. I’ve never been too concerned with what others are doing or following a trend, I like doing what I am doing and making up new things. I have always built myself from the bottom up. People love to give advice and i’m not always a good one to take it, i’ll be honest there, but my good friend said to me just this morning ‘just you keep being you, as there’s people out there who like that’.
So, despite what people might think, not everyone wandering is lost, some people are just doing their thing, in their own way, in their own time. While you may look and think ermagherd, they need to change, they need to stop that shit RIGHT NOW, maybe they don’t. Maybe they are just happy little souls doing their own thing, in their own time, in their own way. Totally on board with that.