Everyone always says that you only fall in love when you stop looking.
If you don’t force it, if you stop looking, that’s when it turns up.
I’m surprised, I have to say. A few days ago, out of the blue I realised it had happened. I was in love, I am in love.
I’ve met up with two close friends this week, excited to tell them my news, they have both said the same thing, “Why are you so surprised? Didn’t you know? Well, I knew, when you think about you, Karlie, it’s obvious”
My love is not a person, (unless you count the person it makes me, which is very important), but a thing, a career, a choice.
Writing will always be my first love, that thing I always do, I always revert to writing for my comfort and am sure I always will, but running along side this now, is producing and directing film. I am in love with directing and producing film.
Film isn’t a new love. I’ve always been interested in film, in fact, this very blog was started with a review of a film. Trips to the cinema, videos and watching films, were a big part of my childhood. I love analysing films, characters and plots. I’ve always thought it was creative thing, a writing thing. It turns out it’s very much a Karlie thing. One friend said, “You’re so bossy, of course you’re a natural director!”
Like story book falling in love, it happened by chance, by not looking for it. Earlier this year, I was looking for change, completely jaded with social media, I began assessing what I was doing and where I was going. As previously mentioned i’ve always written, but I wanted to take that further, really push that as far as I could go. This is a me thing, every career I have had, I have sought to know everything about it, and so I have a few qualifications under my belt and strings to my bow. I like learning because I like knowing. If there is a conversation about something, I want to be able to join in and add value to it. Life fascinates me, our ability to do what we want, choose, make decisions, choices, create opportunity and have fun, completely turns me on.
As a creative person it struck me that I lack creative company, people who understand where i’m coming from. As mentioned before in this blog I believe the future of media will be more internet based and as lover of digital, I want to be there when it happens, hell, I want to make it happen. With this in mind, I enrolled in a Broadcast production course. Every day we’re learning to make media. It this that I love. Truly, madly, deeply. As much love as I felt when I held my babies for the first time. As much love as I feel when I catch my lover’s eye across a crowded room. It is exciting, it is real, it is creative and it is limitless. With the skills I am learning every day about camera, lighting, sound and editing I am falling deeper in love.
I’ve always had an artistic eye, mostly by accident. I don’t know where or why but sometimes, I do something and it works. It’s a talent I know i’m very lucky to have.
I have been to watch Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining at the Filmhouse in Edinburgh and, wow, it is amazing to know that I know how to edit film like that. I am not being big headed and saying I will, or considering myself on par with him, that’s stupid talk. But what I am saying is that because I am learning how to make film, I know how to create it, I know how it’s done.
I am busy working on projects, and learning from the very talented bunch I am with. I am exploring my creative side fully and I feel like I have finally arrived at something I love doing. I feel like I have been woken up. Writing something on paper is pretty special but bringing those words to life is proving special- er.